My most loving Blessings to you.

Will you keep me in your prayers. My names Danielle

I feel detached from myself. sad and apathic and my body feels weak and sick.

I spend so much time focusing on daily graditude journals, staying positive, taking therapy, meditation ect

But friends have been over sharing draining me with thier problems, they go on for 5 hours even longer. this is a life long position I always seem to find myself in again and again. They are whinning for sake of whinning about even meaningless irrations all day long, negative outlooks on everything ..

My partner herb and my family as well are doing this all day. Like i have to be ray of sunshine for everyone. While they look for what’s wrong in the world and thier lives instead of what’s right.

My relationship with herb is not very good in many important ways and I feel very sick and low. The people he is closests to are alcholics and drug addicts and very unhealthy and unsafe people he brings around me or expects me to accept. He has one massive drama after another with family and friends coming up it’s never ending bad news. Someone’s in jail, someone’s homelss again becuase they made trouble getting kicked out, someone violently attacked another, as well as all his medical issues from a life of not taking care of himself. Feel I’m always disappearing complete apathy towards life and exhaustion. My pastor said its toxic abusive relationship advising me to leave. Ive tried so hard to leave and deeply need to but can’t no matter how hard I try. Please help. I keep focusing on this sweet parts of him I love. He mocks me all the time for going to therapy to deal with trama of sexual assault and psychological abuse with my family in addictions and mentally illness.

He spends all day mocking me and playing games.

I need dedication belief i deserve positive healthy non toxic close long term friendships. For me to Stop trying to save everyone while they drown me and don’t want to change anyway or take responsibilities over thier issues to get better take therapy ect.