Hey Everyone.

I am writing you all today seeking, coveting, your prayers for Joni and I.  3 Months ago I had no hope that this marriage could be saved, I was doing well down in Louisville and had no idea how life was about to change…  It started with my pastor in Louisville’s Father’s Day message…  It was not a feel good message, it was a call back to duty, a call to stand up and fight for our families, even the broken ones.  It was a call for us as men to swallow our pride and selfish desires and to protect what God has given us.  It was a challenge to not accept the I can’t do anything about it excuse and to pray, never stopping for our families and to not back down when Satan attacks.  Honestly, it took a few days for things to really set in for me but little did I know things were already set in motion. I began praying and God began closing doors in Louisville, the apt I was going to rent from friends was sold and suddenly I found myself thinking more and more about Joni so I emailed her.  I told her about what was going on and asked her if there was any hope that we might try to heal this relationship, she didn’t respond.  After a few days I texted her asking her if that wass a good thing or a bad thing and she said she just didn’t know…  That was my sign, that was my call back to Mansfield…

  I have been filled with hope that God WILL restore Joni and I.  We have been talking more lately, I am trying to get her to go out with me just to rekindle the friendship as neither of us really know who the other is right now.  She is considering it.  I am praying, everyday, every hour…  I am back in Ohio now because I know that God has called me to go all in to save our marriage…  She has no need to know I am sending this, I don’t want any perception of this being a game or anything, this is just me, asking my family and a few other believers to pray for this marriage. After all we have been through it is hard to be optimistic,  Pray that the spirit of pessimism will be overrun in her life by the spirit of optimism.  Pray that she will be surrounded by people who will speak the truth about God’s covenant and plan for marriage and what “true” love is as in 1 Cor 13…  Pray that I am surrounded by these as well!  Pray for me, I am scared witless right now,it is hard to put your heart back out there on the chopping block, but I must.  I didn’t want to risk the hurt again, but it is the only way to see the Lord’s plan done, faith…  I have remained faithful to my vows and will continue to until we are restored as husband and wife.  I believe with all that I am that God will do this, I believe that by asking Him, I will receive and that we will be a shining example of God’s Love and grace!

I have forgiven her for everything, honestly, I have decided that the past does not matter, only our future!  I am ready to see God work and heal not only our relationship, but many other relationships through this…  I want my best friend back, I miss her dearly and know that this time around we will have the marriage we always wanted and more, because this time Christ will be the center, the foundation of it all!  The health issues are gone, I am no longer in need of anti-depressants, sleep aides or pain medication… God has done amazing things in my life and continues to do so… I am enrolled in school and have found my calling in life, my purpose and the purpose of much of this!  I know there are a lot of things that have been said in hurt and anger, I have done silly childish things to strike back when I was down…  We all make mistakes, we all learn from them, we all are covered by God’s neverending grace…  Pray that the Lord will help Joni to be able to forgive these things, I have asked her to attend counseling, she is still not willing, pray the Lord will work in her life so she might see that saving this marriage is the only choice.  She is being deceived, she believes that she is doing what the Lord wants by following through with this divorce, I don’t know where this deception is coming from but pray that the Lord removes it from her life and places someone there that can speak the TRUTH about God’s desire for our relationship.

I love her, now more than ever before (crazy I know)... now it is with a whole new perspective on love, it is not ever gonna be perfect, but I have committed to never stop trying to per-fect it…  There is nothing I will not do to see her as my wife once again…  It has been a long year, but I truely believe that this WHOLE year has all been in God’s hand….  I went through the valley of the shadow of death to have God bring me back.  I went to Kentucky where I was able to breathe and let the hurt melt away and to find my calling…  I heard God’s call back here to save my family and thats what I am here doing…  I love her even if she doesn’t love me back, because thats what God has done for me…  There’s the scene in Fireproof where Caleb and his dad are talking about how his wife doesn’t love him back despite all the things he has done for her and then caleb see’s the cross…  I am all in to show Joni this love, to save my family, I am asking you to be all in too in prayer…

There will be those who will say I need to be prepared to accept the fact that Joni may never come back, please don’t be offended but your God is not big enough for me.  My God raised Lazarus fro m the dead, healed the blind and the lame, He feed 5,000 people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish.  My God, my Abba Father has said that He knows the desires of my heart and as I delight in Him, He will see them granted.  I am asking the Lord to heal this marriage and I know He will.  This is what He wants, beyond a shadow of a doubt this is what He wants and He has been working on this, even when I thought all hope was lost…  It is unmistakeable the events of the last month, God is working to heal this marriage!  I believe with all my heart that this marriage will be restored and will be greater than any dream I could have ever had…  I am asking for you, my family and my friends to pray with me, daily, some of you 3 times daily for Joni and I…  I am asking for you to commit with me in prayer and support for this, it has already had a couple ups and downs, pray that God prepares me for those times…  Thank you all for reading…  I pray I will hear from you soon joining me in this fight to save a family!  Feel free to pass this along to all your prayer warrior friends, there can never be enough! 

Jake